Corona sucks. But at least I started this blog.

The year of 2020 will be for sure one of the weirdest years of our generation. Imagine that someone has been in a coma the whole year then when he wakes up in 2021 and asks: ‘How was your year? What did you do?’ – how will you answer?

For many people this year feels totally useless. No social contacts, no plans, no perspective. For me, who lives for socializing, planning and looking forward to things, it almost feels like hell. Adding that this year I was only able to see my family and best friends once. ONCE! This has never ever happened in my whole life before. Every time I think about it, I could burst into tears. Many times I do. Other times I try to pull myself together and put things into perspective. 

At least I still have a job. A quite well-paid job even. In event management which almost equals a miracle these days. However, I must admit that my motivation has gone downhill the past half year because I put so much work into my job but the uncertainty hangs above my head all the time. That whatever I am doing now may be for nothing in the future. 

And this is proof enough that money cannot give motivation at all. I don’t feel fulfilled at all by the fact that I get a fixed amount transferred to my bank account every month. Which is like a super-duper first-world problem, right? How spoiled am I? While many have lost their jobs this year and try to get by, my main problem is my emotional well-being. But it’s still exhausting.

So how can you spend your days feeling a little fulfilled? Especially when everything around you is out of control? It’s actually pretty simple: do things that you do have control of.

When I was a kid I wrote a lot. Books, essays, letters. I always loved to write and people seemed to like to read them so during the first lockdown I started this blog. I must admit that I have troubles with being consistent and always writing something catchy but at least this is something I can always return to when I have the feeling that everything is all lost.

Another thing I do is being obsessed with fitness and my physical health lately. For the past couple of months I’m  obsessively following a training schedule. This obsession comes from the fact that I have control over the activity and I have control over the results. It feels good to see results at all and being in control of something while I have no control of anything else around me. 

What I also realized these months is that I can be actually really content with just a few things that already exist around me. Even though I love to go to the pub every Friday or have drinks with friends over the weekend, I can also be happy just taking huge walks in the woods near our house and collecting fallen leaves that I can eventually turn into table top decorations. 

I think the key to being happy – especially during a crisis – is not making your happiness dependent on external factors. Because you don’t have control of them. 

But you do have control of what you make out of the existing circumstances around you – however they may change. 

p.s: of course, this is easier said than done. I know how it feels not being able to do the things or see the people you love. We’re all in the same situation.